Extras DVD: the original script for comic #19. Plus banter.

Google locked me out of the blog again! Very annoying. If that'd happened a week ago, right before I'd published comic 19 (which is out, by the way, in case you hadn't spotted it), I'd have gone completely nuts. And so would you. Anyway I'm back in now, all I had to do was try and remember when I set the account up... how the hell should I know?! Eugh, anyway, stop ranting about google. I love google really. I would totally neigh for them, if you know what I mean.

I meant to say about the comic: there were 1,200 downloads of it in the first two days! BLIMEY! That's loads. Goodness. So could you do me a favour and
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK please?! Srsly, specific feedback is totes helpful, especially if laced with compliments haha. No you know what I mean - it's hard doing a massive amount of work and giving it away free and then most people just say "Yeah it's really good, I like it". Need the details! What was good? What didn't work? What was amazing? Ta!


Anyway here's the original script for #19 - including some totally unseen footage - basically fun scenes I chopped because I couldn't be bothered to render them! But it's nice to see those conversations and imagine they happened anyway :)

ORIGINAL SCRIPT:

*IX & TOM DEMOTION SCENE*
yo

hey

*pause render*

i was thinking, after you left the shields down and our hull got shot through by that space gravel and it risked our lives, i should probably demote you from captain. that alright?

yeah i guess i deserve it.

so you're major tom now

what?! major? that's army not navy - we're navy!

dude, do you want to be major tom or not?

yes. of course.
you know i freaking love bowie

cool.
so what's with the space face, major tom?



*MISOGYNY ARGUMENT COMBO SCENE*
*tom's sulking somewhere, ix quietly joins him*

lots of silence, then "what?"

eurghhh. my sister thinks i'm being sexist because i don't want to tell hayley about us being a bit ... incestuous

a BIT incestuous! ha!
so why don't you want to tell hayley about becky and you?

well, i mean, it'll get in the way of my chances with hayley. she'll think it's weird

*pause render*

she's not some dull prude, tom. first thing this morning i watched hayley play-fighting with lucy - she pinned lucy down and ate her out! seriously, i've never seen such enthusiasm for the pussy. lucy came so hard she started choking on her own dribble haha!

daaamn

look, she's not going to judge you guys; keeping her in the dark is bordering on misogyny

what?! i don't hate women!

i know, i know, i'm being harsh. but you have to admit you're withholding the truth purely because want to bone the new girl - you think of hayley as a conquest rather than a person with a choice. that's prejudice against women
ie. misogyny

eh?

look, when xho came aboard, were you worried that he might find out about you and becky?

well, no

exactly - the only difference here is you want to get into hayley's knickers - you want to control the information she has access to, in order to ease what you see as something you can achieve if you make her think you're perfect

well...

listen, you can be the funniest, hottest, most perfect man, but if you're clearly just interested in 'earning' your way to penetrate a girl, she puts up barriers and then you've got no chance

but ... but you and i fucked before we really knew each other

and did i try to control you? control the information you had in order to earn the sex? no. when i joined the crew i was in a bad way after some pretty serious abuse - i desperately needed some comforting and i seduced you pretty straight

you seduced me?! i seduced you!

sure, sure "oh please help me moisturise, i can't reach all around my lovely big boobies" blink-blink-blink

hahaha ok ok
so ... what should i do?

apologise to becky first. she's likely jealous of the attention you're giving hayley. then just let hayley find out you're the loving, open guy you really are
let her decide whether or not she wants to fuck you because, guess what, she's a human! with choices and hormones just like you!

that's what makes this comic so special; it celebrates women as kickass people; the nudity has only ever been just the cherry on top

which comic? this is getting a bit meta again

the one that we’re … err nothing. all i'm saying is you can try to earn girls like shiny coins in super bloody mario if you want, but it's only you who'll suffer.
the REAL fucking starts when you see women as proper humans in their own right,
just ask xho

why xho?

think about it. xho treats girls like people. he doesn't try to seduce them; the very idea of him using smooth talk and coercion is laughable. last night, xho slept with becky and zan and lucy AND hayley ... know what i mean? the guy with zero chat-up lines gets to fuck all of them at once. four girls, zero control politics. get it now? want to change your tactics yet?

i guess.
so, aren't you jealous of xho having them all?

that's .....
that's a separate issue.

ok, sorry. you're right you’re right, i'll talk to her properly
thanks ix

no problem. you may pay me in chocolate

ha!

seriously. chocolate and snuggles







*CUM DISCUSSION SCENE - DON’T USE ... OMG*

*ix, Becky, Luce and Zan all chatting, bex with tablet device*
Becky: ix, is this true? apparently males of your race fertilise the female by saturating their bloodstream with ... well, sperm

apparently.

luce: that explains it

yeah, i was wondering. i mean ... we've only done it once or twice, but it seemed like after xho came, i had like dots of white fluid coming out of my tearducts and my ears, nose ... everything. it was really weird. i quite liked it. zan, you get that?

zan: yeah, that happens. think it's his
ix interrupts: IT's JUST A RACE THING, ALRIGHT? our species has to get saturated internally with it, so the fluid just gets everywhere. travels through the bloodstream.
apparently.

*storms out*

zan: sorry hun! don't be cross!
bex: what's up with her?
poor girl, she's never had it up her. probably never done it with a member of her own race, so she doesn't even know what it feels like to be really ... you know

luce: full up
bex: overflowing
zan: yeah, it is prety cool isn't it? damn, where's xho right now?








*ix climbing steps*
*xho is up in bunk*
i got your message honey - are you ok?

yeah, it's just, there was something i was going to say earlier and i chickened out

oh! sweetie, what was it..?

yeah, umm
*closes door*
*she thinks* oh god get on with it; my heart is going to explode in my chest*
that tacspace thing. look, i'm sorry i've been so uptight
that time we were trapped together was ...
was actually ...

yeah it was kinda fun

yeah! i mean, i don't want to make things awkward between us
quite the opposite
more like
like

me too

cool. cool.

what i wanted to say was - i'm sorry i was prudish when you came naked into tacspace that time. you're right. you were right.
i should be more like ...
... confident with you being nude

wow. cool, that's
that's awesome, thank you

cool. good. i think you should be naked all the time
i mean
i mean you're so beautiful and you could, you should, if you want to be

thank you! wow
are you saying .. would you like me to be?
because if you want ...

*long pause, eye contact*
*he undoes top*


*no words for lots of pages, closeness*
*his hand nearly on her*

please

i ... can't
i don't know why

*awkward pause, at least a page*
*she undoes his shorts, hand very close not quite touching*
*page or two no words*

xho: you can
i want you to

i ...

you've touched me before

this is different though, isn't it?

i know, i feel the same


*pauses, nearly touches her*
*three or four pages of awkward close renders*
*whispers right in his ear*
i want this to escalate

maybe we could ... *he moves her hand*

*lots of renders*
"i need you between my legs" 
*five mins later*


ix: well ...

well

well then

well then.

*moves out, smiling*
*xho exits, door closes*
*ix gasps, holds head, lies back "wow"*

*comms message*
ix honey, it's zan; where are you? we've received an all-frequency call out for you and it looks kinda important ... uhh i think it comes from the king

the king?! who, elvis?

seriously; the king, the emperor, something like that. their palace have me on hold

oh shit


*tacspace EMPEROR comms scene*
shit shit shit shit

computer; i want a bamboo forest, early evening, wind very gently moving through

*forest appears*

guys, stay out of sight and don't say a word; i'm serious no matter what is discussed, not a peep out of any of you

okay okay

good luck hun

fucking EMPEROR AAARRRGHHHH ok, connect

connecting

... *long looks between ix & emperor*

the mighty captain ix, or is it free agent and blackmailer now?

just ix, your imperial majesty

tell me ix, what am i to do with you?

...

on one hand, i have a foolish renegade who has seemingly created the most valuable technology of our generation and has used it to threaten to decapitate and bring down my entire navy, who should be hunted to the ends of the universe

and ... on the other hand?

on the other hand i have a tenacious young woman who, according to the reports in front of me, has only ever acted justly and with either peaceful self-preservation or protection of those she loves in mind
who has respectfully requested peaceful solutions and has used her skills and doubtless those of her crew to prevent too much damage when peaceful solutions are not ... forthcoming

your imperial majesty

what do you want, ix?

safety.
silence.
peace.

will you bring the new hyperdrive device to the homeworld?

i was considering sharing it with the federation, as they've demonstrably worked towards peace and civility
i ... do not feel i can share it with our navy alone, without risking either my crew nor the political stability of the entire galaxy
and certainly not with the navy under the control of a character like fabuloso, i'm afraid

hmm. wisdom.
forget fabuloso; he's gone

the household has an interest in you, ix

the ... imperial household?

we feel you would be a great asset. i can offer freedom; asylum for your crew and no further questions about the device. we want your skills
freely offered, of course

your imperial majesty is too kind... but if i refuse?

i won't make the mistake of trying to hunt you down

thank you

but it would be foolish of us simply to leave you to the depths of space
i have another suggestion

...

if i can't keep you near me, i'll encourage your sense of adventure

...

i'd like to offer you the status of imperial privateer, ix. it would mean you carry my seal; a letter of marque so you would be able to call on our firepower when required, but we wouldn't own you
you would have no obligations nor contract with our government or navy

a most valuable offer
what's in it for you, your imperial majesty?

it's a laugh
i know valiance when i see it, ix
and we hope you would keep in touch from time to time. that we may occasionally be able to ask you a question or a favour, though nothing mandatory of course

i ... i ...

you know, you've done me a favour, ix; you unseated fabuloso; gave me an excuse to bin him. he was a tick in my side and you delivered him to me on a political plate. i would offer you his job but i don't think an admiral's life is for you.
i think this privateer deal would give you all the freedom as well as the protection we can offer, and save us losing touch entirely

... it's too generous, your imperial majesty

you agree then?

i agree.

good. i have transmitted the encrypted seal; the letter of marque to you, along with methods to call upon the fleet

my great respect, your imperial majesty

should our paths cross sometime, i would like to buy you a pint, ix

i'm more of a shots girl, your imperial majesty

hah! well, you and your crew will always be welcome here at the palace
one more thing; fabuloso was a proud man, ix. he believes you stole his rightful power, he took a federation vessel and will no doubt be after you personally

sounds unwise

indeed

...

...

i believe...
our interests are aligned, your imperial majesty

good hunting

*bows*

*cuts out with a BIP*

fffFFFFFFFUUUHhhhhhhh

Tom: WOAH! does that mean what i think it means?

Xho: it means we're not only off the hook but we have the respect and backup of an entire system's battle fleet should we need it

Zan: shit the bed

Becky: is it just me or ... does anyone else have a massive crush on the emperor?

zan: yep

hayley: me too

luce: uh-huh

tom: yeah
i'm not gay i'm just saying ... if i was
i would

ix: guys, you know what this means?

tom: that we have the best most diversely-skilled crew in the galaxy, the fastest and most ruthless fighter wraith technology can create, a hyperdrive that will move our little fleet at speeds orders of magnitude faster than anything else, a stack of cash and weapons that would make thor cry, and the personal assurance of an entire navy should we need it?

yeah all that
but you know what this means?

what?

what?

huh?

*holds Tom by the chin*

cup of tea, two sugars

zan; guys, hold on what's this?
it was attached to the letter of marque

hayley: looks like ... it's co-ordinates and ship schematics

xho: genius!

becky: what?

xho: the emperor said fabuloso would be after us, this intelligence tells us where to find him, and saves the navy the job of court-martialing the bastard

zan: damn i've got such a boner for that emperor right now

ix: fuck it, margaritas all round! tom - see to it

*ix walks off*
Tom grabs Hayley's hand, walks off with her "come on; i'll show you the galley"
Zan and Luce make out, Becky asks her "so this robot of yours, he fully ... operational?" - "he's pretty new but he's got some potential" luce pulls Victor and Bex's hands, Zan grabs Victor's arm  *those 3 girls plus Victor leave*

Xho turns (to empty space) "hah, well that robot is really going to be shown a thing or ..

ix?

just me in here, huh?
still talking to myself
okaaayyy

ix?

Xho looks around for Ix...

QUIET ONES PLOT. Total silence

*avec substantial le mutual and le going down*

the end.